Legacy- What is legacy?



With the events of yesterday (the resignation of Boris Johnson) there's a lot of talk about legacy.  What is his legacy? 

I have just been hit by a wave of grief as I listened to Radio 2 Jeremy Vine show which is addressing this in the context of the Prime Minister. They played extracts of news reports linking to Johnson. It took me back. I remember when Johnson said that he shook the hands of the people in the hospital with covid. It then cut to a report of 8 people had died of covid. 

8 people,  and in the week that my P died there were 126k  (He died of covid Jan 2021)

They didn't report the line "Let the bodies pile high!" but that sticks forever in my mind.  

So Johnson will move on and will make millions as an after dinner speaker. It will turn out okay for him. His legacy as a PM will be linked to Bexit and the pandemic and the successful roll out of the vaccines. - Is that legacy?  

P wasn't bothered at all about being remembered. His view, which I always found hard (and still do) was when you're dead you're dead. It's about LIVING - it's about the here and now and LOVE. He would always quote one of my favourite films 

"Did he live with passion?"  (Serendipity 2001) He said that's what was important. 

He was very much about quality not quantity. He would often say "Have they got 20 years experience or 1 year's experience 20 times over?" 

So, what have I learnt from this? 

It's about LIFE! It's about LIVING!

It's about a good quality of life, a life that's lived with passion. 

It's about doing what make you happy. 

I used to be happy. 

We acknowledged regularly how happy we were together - and lucky, so very lucky! 

I don't feel happy any more.

But, I am on a mission to find those moments and pockets of happiness. Many people who have children and grandchildren find their happiness through them - I don't have that ... 

So, where is my happiness to be found?

I am not sure, yet. 

But he was so right - It's about LIFE and LOVE. 

What is it that I love? What makes me smile and happy? I know I used to love just being with him. 

But now it's simple things, things like: 

  • buying a new mop and bucket so I can wash my floors well. 
  • growing strawberries which I can pick everyday. 
  • a coffee poured from my favourite cafetiere.  
  • growing tomatoes from seed.
  • waking in the sunshine and seeing the cloud formations. 
  • cooking- I wasn't the cook in the house - P was. But it's another thing I have found I enjoy doing.
  • laughing at a daft video online - I try and laugh out loud every day I believe it helps to laugh.
  • getting into bed after the sheets have been washed. (P loved this and always wanted to be the first into bed after the sheets were clean.) 
  • Getting a head bop from one of the cats. 

Like I said it's the simple things, I am hoping that these simple things will begin to heal the pain of grief, not take it away but just give me a bit of respite.  

I am hoping that even though P wasn't too fussed about legacy that I will be his legacy and live my life with passion (although it's just a gentle passion at the moment) 

What do you do to ease your grief? 

What does legacy mean to you? 

Love H x


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