The voice of a widow

    Funerals ....  Organising a funeral is the last thing you can do right for someone. But organising a funeral is not something you ever want to be doing.  I was terrified about calling a funeral director. I just didn't want to do it.  I was terrified that I would be hit with a load of questions to which I didn't know the answer or just didn't want to answer.  It also made it all a little bit more real, too.  I was terrified of saying those words ... "My husband has died."  But I found the courage to lift the phone and call. I was not going to let anyone else do it for me.  I don't know what I actually said - but straight away I was put at ease.They led me through the process. (They will do that for you too - if you need them to) Because it was in the middle of a lock-down, I was sent a brochure through the post.  The funeral director called in to check on me every few days - or so it seemed. It was kind. Some days I just couldn't face answering. But it

  When you are bereaved you hear it all - The platitude s ...    It's hard, I get that ...  I have been on the other side. I have been that person who was too uncomfortable to say anything... terrified of making it worse.  How could anyone make it any worse? - The worse has happened. And they haven't forgotten. You talking about their loved one and even saying their name is not going to suddenly upset them.  For weeks I was numb- For the first first months in fact I did stuff secretly believing that it would be all alright ...when he came home. That was the story I told myself - looking back it was the only way I could process the information.  How could he NOT be coming back?  He was my husband. We were a family - just us two and our cats. He cooked for me and took care of me. He was the one I could talk to and work out what I should do when I didn't know what to do. He was the one I brought a cup of tea to each and every morning- he was the one I came home to.  He was HOM